I hope everyone is having a great day and thank you for viewing my blog and giving it a chance! It makes me so appreciative and gives me butterflies! It kind of gives me a purpose, and I know every person out there knows what its like to be on that journey to finding a purpose. This post isn’t really anything but a rant, I want to be real to my viewers and not hide behind a made up persona. I want my blog to be raw and edgy and relate to those who don’t really have that confidence or motivation to continue with their dreams.
I spent the entire day moping to be honest, if I’m not writing I’m literally playing video games or sitting down watching Netflix with a ton of popcorn in both hands, literally. So with that being said, I couldn’t understand why I was in a rut, and why I was feeling like I could be doing so much more in life. Now, every single person in this world including the famous and most glamorous people have had their bad days. Like seriously, let’s be real, no one is happy 24/7 of the day, but i’m not saying that we don’t try to be. This post is mainly about what I like to call The Black Hole Effect, when you feel like you’re being consumed into a huge energy draining hole that you feel you can’t get out of.
The Loop of Misfortune
So call me dramatic, but I feel like depression always sneaks it’s way back into our lives. I think somehow it becomes it’s own “person” and becomes one of those annoying people that just won’t leave you alone, like telemarketers. Growing up I suffered from a heavy depression state and I’m surprised I pulled through it because if I hadn’t I wouldn’t exist anymore. I think people are happy most days, then life kicks us in the ass and we’re back to wanting to throw things at a wall to see it smashed to pieces. I think humans have a need to see things be destructed and a have a habit to destroy things. I don’t know what it is about breaking something that humans get that adrenaline rush and feel like they just won a gold medal. Maybe that’s just my opinion though, but there’s something seriously wrong with mankind (BTW why is it called “mankind” although it may sound weird to say “women-kind” but seriously who made that up?). I have always wondered who had the right to say that we all have to look, dress, act, and be the same? Like who came up with all these rules for “mankind”? It’s like putting a species in a box that they can’t escape from.
Humans are suppose to be different, we’re suppose to have different dreams and sometimes even similar dreams. We’re not suppose to be up each other’s ass all the time and waiting for our turn to kiss it, just no. Like I said, this is just a rant and a venting post, who cares if its unprofessional, it’s my blog and I can write what I want to.
I guess in a way people took their ego for granted and started making a persona out of it, creating another part of themselves to say and do things they normally wouldn’t do. I watch You-tubers and read blogs of people and I always wonder if they’re really like that off screen. Can a person be that determined to sell themselves that they change their personality? It’s insane how most people put themselves in a box, while the people who want out are given weird looks like they don’t belong. I believe I’m not one of those people, there’s always going to be multiple sides to a person, but what about being yourself? I want this post to be something everyone can relate to, to say things that people think about, but are too scared to come out and say it because of that fear of being judged from society’s standards.
The Black Hole Effect is basically my way of saying I was in a loop of misfortune and negative thoughts. I had no motivation waking up this morning and today really wasn’t my day. The world doesn’t owe us anything so we should never blame the world for our problems. Sometimes you just pick up someone else’s bad luck, or you create your own, or you just had a Negative Nancy moment. Overall it’s all mental, and I’m very aware of that, but either way it’s still the worse feeling.
Now hopefully you’re still with me because I want you all to realize something. The greatest thing that happened today was it was raining, and to most people that is the worse type of weather because you want to go out, have fun and enjoy your summer. However for me it was soothing, and that’s because of the fact that after every rainy day there’s a rainbow in the clouds saying “Hello!”. Isn’t that something? A rainbow full of light and colors can easily make someone’s day go from the worst day of the week to the best moment, and with that I knew my day isn’t all that bad. There’s always a lesson that is set out for us to learn each day, and we will never know why, but we know that at the end our day we will learn something. I’m given lessons to learn each day as I’m growing into my future self, and I say that because I know I’m not there yet in my life. Writing helps me cope with the realization that time flies and if you’re not ready for it, you’ll get left behind and then you’ll eventually hate the world.
So don’t become part of the norm or the desired, just be yourself. Drink some tea and enjoy the fact that you’re alive to see another day. Appreciate each day you’re given to make difference in your life and don’t fall into that Loop of Misfortune. Give yourself a chance to fulfill your potential to be something great, and do it for yourself. Be your own champion, and fight all the battles life throws at you because we all have a purpose. Some of us just haven’t found it yet and that’s okay, because when you do, it’ll be the biggest and most incredible thing that happens to you. Once you find your purpose, you become one with yourself and your life. This is what I try to teach myself everyday that passes, and one day I’ll get the hang of this hurricane and when I do I will become my own precious rainbow.
Enjoy the night skies and look up at the stars, and remember you’re beautiful in every way. I hope everyone has an incredible night and I hope you all continue to support me through this journey.
Thank you so much for being amazing and I hope to write to you all soon.
Good day and Goodnight.
“Breathe in the energy you exhale to the world.
Walk on clouds as if you’re forever dreaming.”